What helps
Correcting what they think of themselves — 'but you are competent' — sounds kind and it speaks for them. Debating their faith, or explaining their diagnosis better than they do, does the same. You use the word they chose.
You do not compare them with yourself, or with others. You do not repeat to other people what they trusted you with. A short message. They do not have to justify themselves.
Later, you do not review 'where they are with themselves'. The month is not an intimate assessment. You stay a friend, not a mirror.
Concrete example
"I'm listening, with the words you chose."
Key takeaway
- Their words, not yours.
- No portrait, no correction, no debate.
Try next time
Reply using their word, without adding one, and without telling it to someone else.